“Loud pipes save lives”—sucks!

You are currently viewing “Loud pipes save lives”—sucks!

I like motorcycles as much as anyone.

But I have to take a stand against the noxious fad that even law enforcement is obviously going along with in violation of law and decency: make a huge noise so that people “see” you…supposedly. (But really do it because you want to lord it over the “public” and because you have an otherwise powerless life.)

If something has to destroy peace’n’quiet in order to be safe, then it just shouldn’t be done in the first place.

Otherwise, where’s the limit? Should a bicycle rider toodle along firing off steady rounds from a .357 magnum so they can be safe? Cyclists are more exposed than motorcyclists. They’re harder to see. So they should be louder yet, right?

The crazy reason why this fad has caught on is that the cops are in on it. They ride loud bikes, too. And they would’ve been ticketed 20 years ago like anyone else.

I have a friend who has loud pipes. His bike sounds cool in car-land. But it’s not nice around people, not for very long anyway, or in neighborhoods at night. I hope he rides when no one wants it quiet.

Maybe most people today live hermetically sealed? Are new houses impervious to such noise? The AC is humming, the TVs are on, the washing-machine droning, the lawnmowers mowing, the weedeaters howling, the leafblowers shrieking.

But little old houses aren’t impervious. We sleep with our windows open and make hardly any noise. Same with millions of others who are not hyper-moderns.

If you’re going to make noise, watch your hours and where you do it.

Sure, noise can be fun to make. Setting off dynamite would be fun, too.

Firecrackers are fun, too—but ya gotta watch out when you set em off. 4th of July is fair game. ‘Til about 10pm. Use some moderation, right?

Noise is a problem. It makes our social insanity worse. If you add to noise, you’re a problem. Be decent or get off the road. Be whatever you like…on your own dime. But don’t dump poison into my audio water supply to boost your own personal insecurity. Anyone who sparks up a loud bike next to an unwilling human being deserves to have that bike turned off.

But maybe that’s just me.

I also hate anyone who turns on a generator at an otherwise quiet public campground within earshot of anyone else. I’ll hike across a campground to tell someone to turn theirs off if it’s running at the wrong time or for too long. If they’re running it in a “screw you” way—I take it as just as much an insult as if they said it to me. Many campgrounds today are centers of RV isolation and wretched noise, with everyone running TVs and ACs—obviously, when in Rome… But quite a few are still tent-oriented—yet people will still spark up generators next to tenters. I have no idea why the people sitting next to them trying to roast weinies don’t tell them to knock it off and why it takes me coming across the campground to do it.

Sorry, my airwaves are not yours. We SHARE them. If you try to hog them, you’re out of the game. Game over.

So, get a bike with a cool sound. A neat rumble. I’m all in favor of taking a stand for British-style Twins against jug-thumpers, for instance. But don’t bogart my world.

I like motorcycles. I even like fairly loud ones. I like two-strokes, I like road bikes.

But they’re like chainsaws: there’s a time and place. Don’t overdo it!

Booming music and screaming when drunk both qualify as well as needing a gag order: “I let myself suck so I’m going to make you suck, too!” Sorry, it doesn’t wash.

Keep civil hours, why not. C’mon, people are trying to sleep in houses with windows open. People are trying to have a nice time in a tent somewhere.

I know that people don’t feel like they have power anymore. And that wanting power is the main desire our society cultivates. Making noise is a cheap, easy way to feel powerful. And selling noise is an easy way to exploit those who’ve been duped into wanting power. —Just don’t go there. Just say no. Resist. …The urge to be stupid.



Leave a Reply


The reCAPTCHA verification period has expired. Please reload the page.