The OYB Lifestyle: Living and… Retiring?

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An OYBer recently asked for some more practical OYB/DIY/indie LIVING tips and discussion.

He wanted to widen things to include…

*Housing

*Parenting

*Schooling

*Work

*Home-Ec

*Retirement

Well, we here at OYB want to be your one-stop source for DIY! So le’s do it!

Actually, I’ve always thought that OYB was open to and inclusive of these kinds of things, but I guess I haven’t been very specific about them, just posting a few vague rants in the Thinking or Culture sections. And, of course, no one has posted much of anything in the Forum—where they could feel free to run away with any of it. It’s the biggest Indie Culture discussion op I can think of! …Laying fallow. Oh well!

But let’s press on…

HOUSING

For housing: a co-op or co-housing seems to make the most sense, really.

We’ve had a few long(ish) term friends stay with us, especially pre-kids. We had a trailer “cottage” in the yard for years. We’ve talked about getting our in-laws RV parked here for a new cottage. Brother Kelvin would like to build a few “writer’s shacks” for a couple grand each that he can move around on a flat-bed and stash in people’s back yards without a permit—no foundation…but a nice porch. He’s a bit uncertain as he has no first customer yet and the pallet-staplers have mini-shacks for sale along the roads up north for probably $1K each that might nuke the market for a niftier sort of shack (I don’t see why that would have to be).

Then there’s the house-swap idea. It’s not real housing, but it’s been organized for decades. It’s fully on-line, too. I might have posted about it. There seem to be a dozen oufits doing it and I can’t tell/recall which were the good/solid ones and which were franchised time-share fly-by-nights that seem likely to be on the heavy cash-flow outcome. (But maybe I gave links back then. Search it.)

But it seems like a co-op is the real ticket. This ties in with a retirement plan of some kind, it seems.

RETIREMENT

What’s the most sensible way to live? To retire?

Firstly, I’m not going to retire or retreat from anything. I’ll change what I do as my abilities change. I don’t buy into the “I’ll do something unpleasant until I can quit and do what I want” mode. A tough job doesn’t have to be a bad one. As long as it’s worthwhile I think we can make our jobs our own, turn them into our work. In one way of looking at it, a “job” can be top>down, foisted onto us. But “work” seems more like it’s from me out to the world. It’s what I do. Hopefully a good attitude can transform any worthy job into something I’m not pining to get away from.

Personally, I want to be living every day til I die, at a growing quality level, doing something worthwhile and helpful in whatever way fits my ability. If I end up on a rocking chair, I’ll do what I can to contribute from there.

All this is a long way of saying that I’ll probably have to figure out a way to work to earn some dough in some way until the day I croak. : ) That is, I haven’t set things up so that I’m earning now to be spending later. Although we are planning and saving for contingencies.

(I think that if we’re to imagine we might live to be 120 years, say, or any other number, really, then there needs to be good, motivating, necessary things we’re doing that whole time. The Shivapuri Baba had 40 years of raising a family, 40 years foot-pilgrimage around the world, 40 years sitting under a tree helping visitors to him. A good use of his 120, where each activity fit his life stage. It can’t just be more years of watching TV and shopping.)

Anyway… It seems that as we do slow down that we would want to be within walking distance of everything. For both it and the “regular years” a low-cost set-up would seem to be most OYB/DIY. Is an urban setting the best in that regard? Skip a car. Or do share-a-car / share-a-van.

Maybe a combination of a rural “dorm” set-up near a rail-line then an urban 8-flat with community space on the ground floor…might be the ticket. Seems like it would be good to have access to the countryside.

For us and our situation it seems that Chicago might be the answer. We have an “in” there already, as we know folks.

But otherwise, I’d say that the warm climates are smarter. Grow stuff year-round easily. No heat bill. Get used to the heat.

Otherwise, the low overhead OYB way would seem to be: cook/eat at home in a community space/setting. Socialize in parks and other public spaces.

Another option is Campground Host. Live in an RV with free rent, that way. Do an upnorth/downsouth migration following the open campgrounds, if need be.

RETIREMENT INCOME?

All I can think of is: “live cheap.” (My grandparents never even used up all their Soc Sec checks, much less never using up any of their savings.)

But also: consider getting an income asset that’s paid off and generating income by retirement. One that you can maintain in your Golden Years. Get some apartments to rent, or a lodge/campground to host, or a B&B. Unfortunately, no matter how small the income from such things, such as Self Emp, you still pay 15% for Soc Sec and about 30% to Prop Taxes, here in Mich, anyway. But I’m no acc’ting pro. So if you make $25k beyond your costs with a B&B and think “Hey, we might just squeak by!” realize that you’ll pay $10k off the top out of that kitty. You might have to skip on the food. …This is all while paying zero income taxes. Income Taxes are not where the DIY lifestylist gets hammered. Am I wrong? Maybe there’s an angle I’m overlooking. An even worse scenario might be rearing up where in order to give tax relief to “middle” folk, all biz and income-property owners might get hammered even more, even if they’re micro-players. Tell me I’m wrong!

I wonder if the group living concept would work. We have some friends who have jobs, some who don’t. Would we be able to group together to save expenses and create culture? Those with pensions wouldn’t need to (not nearly as much). But, who knows, maybe with the downsizing from “excess capacity” we’ll all HAVE to soon enough.

PARENTING

As regards parenting, I vote for the “Don’t yell at em” approach. I also go for George Herter’s 1950’s maxim of: spend an hour a week with each kid doing what they want. Not as easy as it seems! I also like the limits and structure approach. Show them how to live in a way that lets them do everything else (“everything in its place”). Work with em on their level. They’re at the “likes/dislikes” stage so that has to be kept in mind. Engage them and do things with them with a view of adding skills. Baby steps. Set the table. Wash the flatware before trying to wash the dishes, glasses and pots. Limit computer/TV time to 15-30 min’s if they’re into that. Show creativity rather than consumption. Push for opportunities for relationship—push for neighborhood kid action and ad-hoc doing things with all neighborhood kids. Keep up interaction with all kids rather than favorites. Get some music lessons in there. Whoever you know that has a special talent, get them to show your kids. If your school has a special program of some kind, sign up for that. Seize opportunities. Push them to go beyond like/dislike—they really can’t but you can edge them that way in small increments/doses. If they don’t like singing, ask for just one song, not more. Make sure they get outside and play gungho an hour a day. Allround style.

At this point, “sports” to our kids means being in the car and being busy a lot, so they have no interest. They don’t realize that learning the basic game of hockey can make for great fun on a small pond. That’s what it’s really all about. Learning how to skate in twisty ways is just more fun and variety for skating. The game of soccer mostly and truly means fun in a field with friends and a ball.

In our situation we just don’t have a close neighbor yard that’s wide open enough. But we’re getting there. There’s a good yard, but it’s across a busy street. It might have to do. I’m pushing the kids to latch onto this one kid’s yard in our adjacent neighborhood because it backs up to an old lady’s overgrown 20 acres—perfect. With a creek. But so far our kids have scoffed at me: “Play. What a joke. Are you nuts? Playing is boring.” Still, the idea catches at them. They admit it *could* be possible.

They tend to play with their best pals and don’t comment about the others or will just say they don’t really like em. I like to remind them that kids might be different after school out in a yard than they are in school or on the bus. Every kid might have some ability to have fun that crosses with your own somewhere, so give em a chance. Let em screw up before judging them. So I push to make sure all neighborhood kids are involved in neighborhood play. Don’t bump any unless they blow the chance themselves.

Everything has its age and stage. Ours are 8/11—they’re almost ready to play abroad freely.

HEALTHCARE

We do a high-deductible and pay about $350/mo for us 4. I suppose we could get some savings by having a Health Savings Acc’t, but I don’t understand it.

We don’t have to pay Income Tax as it is, by taking the Standard Deductions.

We get hammered on the Soc Sec. and Prop Taxes, which together add up to a good 30% of our yearly micro-cash flow. If you make any profit from being Self Emp you must pay 15% of it, cash on barrelhead. If you own a biz building, it’s time to pay.

***

That’s it for now! : )

You add the rest…



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